Monday, September 22, 2008

I LOVED HER IN SPITE OF THE WARTS! OR MAYBE BECAUSE OF!

I had to put my doggy to "sleep" last Thursday. She was old and only getting older. She had hip dysplasia and had spent the last few years of her life becoming even more sedentary and listless. She still played a bit with Kim and jumped for her treats and it was the kind of old age that I kind of looked forward to. Special food, lavish attention and treats just for standing up.

Her hips were getting worse and we had a number of conversations about what would determine the "end." Okay, when she no longer appeared to be able to have any fun. Or, was in pain. Or, incontinent. What we didn't realize was that it would all happen at once.

I had been sick with asthma and the secondary effects of emphysema for a week. I was missing work about every other day and had decided to take Thursday off since walking and breathing were becoming next to impossible. Usually when I am sick, Jewels would come in and lay her head on the bed and give me a get well lick or two. Her back left leg had been more sensitive than usual and she had stayed pretty close to her living room sprawling spot.

To get her outside for her bathroom duties required pulling out her leash and convincing her that we were going someplace pretty exciting. And, having Kim pick up her rear end. We decided to take her to the vets. As soon as we walked in the door, I knew it was over. Just one of those impending doom feelings that turn out right far too often.

After the X-ray and diagnosis of bone cancer we knew for sure. Taking her home was out of the question. We would have to go through at least one more painful trip for her and that just wasn't okay. So, Kim went to the van and got her blankie, we put in on the floor and got her to lie down and I got down right beside her and held her in my arms as the vet gave the shot. It was good to hear her labored breathing ease into a relaxed sigh. I watched as her eyes slowly closed and cried as I said good-bye.

I only hope that we had given her all that she deserved. She could have given us no more than she had. Our Jewelsie is gone and we are getting on. Tears still fall, I swear I hear her panting in the other room, and I have yet to walk passed the living room without looking for her in her favorite spot. Unfortunately, these things will pass. I don't know if I will get another dog. It's too fresh right now.

So, doggie heaven be damned...she's in a doggie castle with hordes of lackeys bringing her bacon and liver and popcorn and she doesn't have to do anything but look at the door waiting for us to walk in.

5 Comments:

Blogger customtrains.org said...

Sorry to see her go

October 1, 2008 at 6:12 PM  
Blogger Lola said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. We had to put our baby to sleep a little over 2 years ago and we still miss her. It was devastating for us but we have many wonderful memories and she was well loved and cared for. We have a new bundle of joy now, but we will never forget our baby.

October 1, 2008 at 9:32 PM  
Anonymous Frances said...

Over 20 years ago I had to put my own doggy Rocky to sleep.
He was only four and a half and doing fine, and then one day he had an epileptic fit. **Sigh
I hope my Rocky and your Jewel are enjoying bacon treats together.
Take care

October 3, 2008 at 2:41 PM  
Blogger qualcosa di bello said...

my heart goes out to you in this sad time...

October 8, 2008 at 1:18 PM  
Blogger Brad said...

My dog had to be put to sleep a few years ago, and it damn near killed me. Sorry you had to experience it.

December 8, 2008 at 5:17 PM  

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