Thursday, July 17, 2008

EAR SEX

Okay, after you have gone to a bad place in your brain you may continue reading.

I have had a love affair with Q-Tips for years. After a shower I must immediately take a Q-tip and dry out my ears. It is an experience that does bring to mind a bit of pleasure that causes me to half close my eyes, my head will tilt back and if I am not careful, I have been known to make sighs of pleasure.

At this point all of you are reacting in one of three ways...

Don't you know you aren't supposed to clean your ears with Q-Tips?”

Too much information...stop, please, stop!”

or both. I have always expected that if I wasn't careful I would develop hair on my palms from the practice.

I don't get this thing about not using Q-tips to clean or dry your ears. I have been doing it for over 40 years. What the hell were they made for? I have never hurt myself or my ears with a Q-tip. Maybe the box should come with a warning...

Do not use if you are subject to seizures.”

Do not use if you have ever put your eye out with a BB gun.”

Do not use if you have never operated a pencil, potato peeler, toothbrush, needle and thread or put a key into the ignition of a car.”

So, all I want to know is this, of those of you who have broken the rule about Q-tips in the ear, does it feel as good to you as it does to me?

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5 Comments:

Blogger Doug said...

It's funny you mention that. Before my ex became my ex, at a doctor's appointment where we both expected the doctor to tell me to lose weight, he told me instead to stop cleaning my ears with q-tips. I tried to quit but I'm powerless over the q-tip. It became an inside joke between us that whenever one of us cleaned our ears we would say "F**k Dr. I"

July 17, 2008 at 8:13 AM  
Blogger tsduff said...

I share your Q-tip ritual pleasure. I have found however that all Q-tips brands are not created the same, and so I always revert back to my original favorite, Q-tips.

July 17, 2008 at 12:54 PM  
Anonymous andrena said...

my son shares the q-tip experience....I see him looking furtively around after retrieving a tip outta the closet....and slipping into the bathroom....ha ha

August 1, 2008 at 7:25 PM  
Blogger Steve Hayes said...

Aural sex gives me an earie feeling.

August 11, 2008 at 11:40 AM  
Anonymous andrena said...

laughing @ steve hayes...."an earie" feeling...

August 13, 2008 at 10:33 AM  

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