Friday, January 9, 2009

HOW WILL I EVER GET OUT OF THIS PLACE ALIVE?


I have a developing psychosis, I believe. Those of you who know me may think you know what it is, but it isn't any of the easy ones. This one has to do with hoarding. Books, pens, CDs, old clothes, stuff I'll never use and yet can't get rid of.

I am doing better with the books. I am now able to give them away but not as fast as I can acquire them. Therefore, I am still at a losing pace. I even made a commitment to start going to the library. Which I did. But, the number of books in the house still increased by three.

Did I mention magazines. Cooking magazines? The ones I can never get to because I am too busy cleaning up the rest of the crap. I read them at night and my stomach growls and I plan on how I am going to make that herb stuffed turkey breast as soon as I can find the damn magazine again.

Clothes. Will I ever be a size 12 again? I doubt it. But, just in case, I still have those bell bottoms from 1975. I finally gave the beloved size 10 Levi jacket to my daughter. Maybe she will hoard it and vicariously pick up all of the vibes from the Led Zeppelin, Sly and the Family Stone, Dylan, Van Morrison concerts it attended with me. Hopefully, the embedded ganja smell has dissipated so she won't get arrested if the windows are rolled up and she is pulled over.

Kitchen crap. How many mixing bowls can a pseudo-chef use? And, I think I've used the mandolin once. (Those of you who saw the blog before it crashed and burned might remember the bleeding thumb picture.) The cast iron pans are still in a stack in the basement somewhere. Yet, if I could find them there would be no room for them in the kitchen anyway as the Foreman Grill, rice cooker, waffle iron, two crockpots, blender, etc. take up all the space.

Wouldn't it be wonderful if I could just get my sh*t together once and for all? The internet is wonderful...so wonderful that I have begun to hoard links. Firefox lets me "organize" my bookmarks in the most wonderful way, and as soon as I find that Korean language site again, I'll start studying that.

Meanwhile, I will continue to be happy that I am graced with an understanding husband, a mind that somewhat justifies the accumulation of all this crap by answering Jeopardy questions in a speedy fashion and the vision of the day of my death when all of the rest of you are running down the road trying to get your hands on all of these treasures for yourself. Why wait till I'm dead, drop by now and just take some stuff when you leave. I'm sure I will never notice.

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